Story: Voyeur

This was written October 23, 2003, with some edits in May 2015. I'm not sure this is as "cooked" as it could be, but I wanted to start a different project so I may come back to this and add more later. Let me know what you think about it.

My next-door neighbor Mike was a pretty nice guy. I'm not usually real friendly with the neighbors around here, though sometimes I like to keep an eye on what they're up to. Especially if they're up to interesting stuff and they can't really tell that I'm keeping an eye on them. Guess that's why I'm not really all that friendly with them — afraid I'd have some explaining to do, I guess.

But Mike was OK. We even chatted a little bit, because he lived next door and he was outside a lot. Tended to do his yard work in just cutoffs and running shoes on warm summer days, no shirt. He was easy to watch; nice build, a little meat to his shoulders and upper arms, and a pretty hairy chest and stomach. More than once I wondered what the terrain was like if you could follow the line of his hair from his navel southward.

Like I say, we chatted a bit, but not real in-depth, just neighborhood stuff or the weather. He didn't seem to like to get too deep with most people. Sometimes I'd watch him sitting on the back porch, him resting after doing yardwork, me just staring from inside the house. Sometimes he seemed kind of distant or pensive or something.

Then he'd go inside, and at night I could sometimes see him in his bedroom. My bedroom was a kind of catty-corner across from his, so I could carefully look over and see what was going on over there if he hadn't pulled the shade down, which he didn't always do especially in the summer. I can't figure out how I ever got away with as much viewing of Mike as I did. But if I kept the lights in my room off and sat still, I saw a lot. I even got to where I tried to videotape him. It didn't come out great, but I could make him out when he got in the right line of sight. There's a tape of him stripping off his cutoffs, revealing a complete lack of underwear and a nice uncut dick. I watched that tape several time in the two days after I filmed it, even though he didn't do anything but stand by the window, staring off toward my backyard, not noticing me salivating in my bedroom. After that, I left the tripod up in my room, just far enough out of the window so that it couldn't be seen easily.

One Thursday a few months ago, I got home from a long day of work just before it was dark. Getting inside, I figured I needed some relaxation after I got some food in me. I headed for the bedroom to get my work clothes off. I emptied my pockets with the lights still off, noticing out of the corner of my eye that there was a light across in Mike's room. I took a quick look and saw Mike buck naked in his room.

Carefully I put my wallet and keys on the dresser and grabbed the videocam. Trying to be stealthy, I moved to the tripod, attached the camera, and turned it on. Then I straightened up and leaned against the wall right by the window so I could see what the camera was shooting.

The light on Mark's nude body was very artistic. A professional would've lit him like that, but I know the light was just his bedside table lamp. His slender torso was rimlit as he stood a few feet from his window, just staring out into my backyard. I was holding my breath hoping he wouldn't look the other way toward me. And he didn't.

Then he picked something up. It turned out to be a rope — fairly thick, a few coils of it. Now he was turned just a little more and I could see his furry crotch. His tumescent cock was filling out and dangling, head beginning to poke out from under its hood. He kind of bounced the rope in his hands a couple of times, then walked away from the window toward his bedroom door. This was just barely in range of the camera, and I carefully pushed the zoom as far as I could. When he was on the other side of the room, I could see him full-length.

He opened the door slightly and draped the rope over the top of it. The short end was tied in kind of a loop and it rested slightly higher than head-high against the door. He tied the long end to the doorknob on the hall side of the door.

"What the fuck was he doing?" I thought. "This isn't what I'm thinking, is it?…."

Mike got a milk crate and set it on the floor by the door, under the rope. He stood up on the crate... reached up for the rope... pulled the loop open a little… stuck his head through the loop… brought the rope down around his neck… snugged the rope tight with the knot behind his neck and a little off center…

I watched unbelieving, hardly able to breathe. He had his back to me while he did this, and then he turned around on top of the milk crate. His cock was pretty hard now. He pulled at his balls, kind of scratching them, then stroked his cock.

"Maybe he's just playing," I thought. I've heard that some guys like this. As I watched him fondle himself, my own cock started getting pretty hard inside my jeans. I slid my right hand inside the waistband and just held my cock. I sure didn't want to be noticed now, so I kept very still.

Mike just stood there for a minute with his eyes closed. Then he shifted his feet toward the left edge of the crate… dangled the left foot off… then kind of slid his right foot off the crate too — and then kicked the crate away to the side. Mike had just hanged himself.

His naked body sagged as the rope tightened and kept him from reaching the floor. I saw his mouth move, but he wasn't really fighting what was happening to him. He hung from the rope, his back and butt against the door but his feet about a foot off the floor. His toes twitched a little. I figured he could get himself out of this if he wanted, since he had the use of his hands - but he kept his right hand on his hard rod. His foreskin was now completely pulled back and the purple head of his cock dripped pre-cum. My eyes darted back and forth between his cock and his slightly stretched and constricted neck. The rope was dug into his flesh; it had to hurt.

Then he shuddered and it was like he panicked for a moment. He actually let go of his cock. But he didn't move to get himself out of the rope. Rather, I looked into his face, and he didn't seem to be intending to struggle at all. His eyes in fact had gone glassy. His feet twitched, his hands made uncoordinated movements, but he still hung there. It sunk in to me that I was watching my neighbor Mike die. He was slack-jawed, shoulders slumped, furry belly slack too. His feet kind of kicked a couple of times, hitting the door behind him.

I noticed his cock was drooping a little, still pretty thick and full. And while I was watching his cock it began dribbling piss till there was a stream flowing from his cock. When the puddle on the floor stopped growing, Mike kind of shuddered and … well, he didn't move anymore.

I just watched my neighbor off himself.

By this time I didn't know what to do, really. I was maybe the one person who could've stopped him from doing himself in. Now that his naked body hung still from the rope tied over his bedroom door, I debated whether there was still time to do something. And yet … maybe he had no desire to be saved. Especially now, since he'd been hanging long enough so that brain damage was a real possibility.

So I kept watching. My eyes roamed all over his fine body, now dangling lifeless before my eyes, before my camera……

Oh shit, I thought. I have this all on tape, and what if the cops —

I had to sit down and not look into Mike's house. What the fuck was I going to do now? I not only had just videotaped Mike's suicide, that tape would make it obvious that I'd done nothing to stop him from killing himself. I reached over, shut off the camera — he wasn't doing anything anymore, anyway — and then took it off the tripod. I took the tape out of the camera, and tried desperately to figure out where to hide it. Eventually I decided to put the camera and tripod in the spare room on the other side of the house, and the tape went in a box in the basement that looked like it was hardly ever opened.

And then, I called the police. They arrived quickly, broke down Mike's door, and found him. I watched from Mike's front yard. Over the next half hour or so, a few officers and a representative from the coroner's office showed up and went inside to investigate. One of the officers came out and asked me some questions. I was a little nervous; I hoped that I was only as nervous as someone who'd just discovered his neighbor killed himself would be, and not more. "Yes, I got home from work about 20 minutes ago, glanced out my window, and saw him like that… called you right away…" It turns out Mike had left a note, so that made it a clear-cut suicide. My stated time of arrival from work jibed with the estimated time of death, so there was no question in the police report that anything could've been done.

The last I saw of Mike was when they wheeled out his body, which was inside a body bag on top of the gurney, loaded him into the ambulance for the trip to the morgue. A few of the other neighbors had come up by then and stood near me, saying the usual awkward things one says when something like this occurs. I wonder if they noticed the prominent bulge in the body bag where Mike's cock tented it out. I sure couldn't help noticing it.

It was all pretty freaky, really. I feel pretty funny about having seen a guy snuff himself. I didn't know Mike all that well, and I had no inkling that he was suicidal. I miss him a bit, too.

But then there's that tape. It took a couple of months, but I eventually dug it out of that box in the basement, one night really late, and popped it into the player. I watched it the first time and felt as if I was seeing the actual event again - the grainy image of him with the rope, tying the rope off, taking that last step…

And then watching it again, stroking my super-hard cock, and shooting right when he pisses and hangs still.