No more Wickr for me

I used to be active on Wickr.me. The Wickr company was acquired by Amazon Web Services in 2021, and in late 2022 they announced that the wickr.me (personal) service would be discontinued by the end of 2023. (Info here: https://wickr.com/me/faqs/) No more new accounts have been available since December 31, 2022. Tonight, I deleted my account there - I haven't used it in a couple of years, anyway. I'm mentioning it in case anyone remembers me there.

Hey, surprise, it's a post! With photos! These are selfpics from 2004. No hangdogs were actually harmed in the making of these photos. Dammit.

I intend to post these to The Noose Network, if I can figure out how. It looks like the "post photos" function has disappeared from where I thought it was. A lot of functionality has disappeared from that site. It's really kind of, um, fascinating, I'll say.

New year's greetings and random thoughts

Happy new year to you ... Wow, 2015 already, huh? Maybe I should make a resolution to update this blog more often. Anyway, just wanted to check in and let you know I'm still thinking about the blog and any readers I have. Thanks for stopping by. There are still notions for stories perking in my head, though I haven't made the time to coax them out of my head and into the computer lately. I will soon.

I've been going through my image archive on my computer and rearranging photos into new folders, deduplicating as I go. It is a long chore, mostly because each image tends to get examined closely, and that's when distractions happen. Large, stiff, somewhat leaky distractions. Perhaps you know what I mean. If I should uncover photos that would be of interest to readers of this humble blog, I will share them. I've mostly limited myself to images that are in the public domain, but I may rethink that this year.

A crazy notion has occurred to me: Maybe a few of the stories I've posted here could be collected into an ebook somewhere. One of the other websites I follow frequently mentions such things created by the blogger. It's just a thought, for now. Which stories would you pick for this, dear reader?

Noose selfie

That's me. Can't you tell? A reader suggested photos of myself with a noose, and this one just happened to get into my camera. Yes, I know the knot isn't behind my ear and the rope is slack, but ... if only I knew another kinky photographer to help out here.

Dreams

Every once in a while, I'll actually have a noose dream. While sleeping, I mean; thought I'd better clarify that. Usually I'm nude and in a fairly large and empty basement with gray cinder block walls and exposed beams, and I'm trying to work out a way to wrap a rope around my neck and play before anyone else comes down to the basement. This scene has played out a few times, but I've never been noosed up so far.

The one I had last night was a little different. I seemed to have been hanged already, and I was lying on the floor, nude. Someone was coming over to me (I think he was nude, too), and I was trying to decide whether to be dead (or maybe play dead) or try to get up, and I chose the latter. I woke up then, so I don't know how that scene would've played out. I don't have noose dreams all that often, which in a way is surprising because of how many times nooses figure in my fantasies.

In fact, erotic or kinky dreams of any sort don't come to me often, unfortunately. I had another one last night, though. I was walking along a pier or breakwater at night with a high school friend (one who I'm pretty certain is not kinky or queer in any way), and we were both in leathers and boots. He got ahead of me with another friend, so I got to the bar alone. In my dream it's the Detroit Eagle, but the scenery doesn't exactly match the real bar (as happens in dreams). I walked through the place, got a beer, saw guys I know, and enjoyed the feeling of my leather and boots.

This Eagle had a leather shop off to the side, so I went there to browse. It was packed with shirts, pants, chaps, and accessories, and it was almost like a leather surplus store. On one wall were shelves of boots, and I particularly remember U.S. army "Mickey Mouse" winter boots, huge ones in sizes 33 and up. (That's U.S. sizes, mind. My feet are large and the size number is only 15.) No, I didn't buy any.

Eventually I needed to piss, and I went to a toilet in the back. There was a sign that implied that I should leave the door open, so I did, and someone came to watch while I pissed. This didn't turn me on, but I didn't stop what I needed to do. And that's about where that dream ends. No nooses, but that's OK. The dreams have kind of left me horny all day, actually. That's probably why I had to write about them here.

GPOY

I had the idea for this photo this morning, and took it tonight as a self-pic. The problem with beards, especially big beards, is they would hide a noose. I wanted to show this rope off. It's 3/4" hemp, not quite as scratchy as I thought it would be. Come to think of it, it's been photographed before. It still hasn't been really stretched yet.

Almost too far

The summer after my freshman year of college, I was 19, unemployed, and bored a lot. My family lived out in the country and I spent a lot of time by myself roaming the fields and woods nearby. One warm afternoon, I got the idea to explore an old abandoned barn a fair distance away from the house for some fun. It felt a bit forbidden, and I had to cross a bit of open field to get there, but once inside I couldn't be seen.

The front of the barn was pretty bright, with a concrete floor, big sliding doors left open and gaps between the planks of the walls. I saw a bucket and a pile of hay twine along with some other junk. There was a cinderblock wall with rungs set in like a ladder, to get to the loft, and to the right of that was an entry to a smaller room that was pretty empty and led to another small room with a high window opening. Back to the main area I saw a bigger opening to the back of the barn, which had a dirt floor and was darker, but had exposed beams where the floor of the loft had rotted. Cooler, and a little spookier.

I went back toward the front with an idea. I'd mostly wanted to just jack off, but I got the idea to jack off in a special way. I had already been tying things around my neck for years. My favorite implement for this was a rubber inner tube. Even when I attached it above my head, I had never been off the floor; just stretched the inner tube tight so I got some effect from it. I didn't have the inner tube today, but I did have a 1 1/2-inch leather belt.

I got the bucket, which was metal and black and about a foot and a half high, and a little of the twine and went back into the second of the little concrete block rooms. The ceiling beam had a couple of big metal staples sunk in deep. I figured I could run the belt through one of them, but how to keep it attached above my head? That's where the twine came in. I looped some of the twine through a belt hole and could reach the second staple so I could tie it. (It's amazing the logistics one can get into with this "hobby.")

So, I set up the black bucket under the beam. I got naked, piling my clothes up on the concrete floor behind me. Then I stepped up onto the upturned bucket. I was already excited. I looped the belt around my neck with the long end coming through the stout buckle, then through the first staple, the one I'd actually be dangling from. Finally I tied the doubled-up twine to the second staple.

I didn't want to kill myself; wasn't even thinking of that. I just wanted to have fun and get off. My dick wasn't completely hard, probably because I was so scared/excited, but it was dripping. I was also a little concerned that I would get found, so I wanted to get to the next step. I figured I'd get hard once I did. I reached up and held the beam, then dangled one foot off the bucket... slowly let go of the beam... while the other foot came off the bucket.

Everything held. I was hanging!

For about 10 or 15 seconds. Then I panicked. I reached up to the beam and pulled myself up enough so I could get my feet back onto the bucket. My legs were wobbly, so I held the beam for a minute or so to keep steady. The belt-noose loosened immediately so I wasn't in any danger. After a couple of minutes I was calm enough to untie the twine and get down. I sat on the bucket, still a little wobbly. I realized I hadn't gotten off yet, so I rubbed one out just to get the release. Eventually I got dressed, but I lingered around the barn a little while just to let any marks or redness around my neck fade. (I'd had problems with visible marks before, but didn't have them this time.) As I left I put the bucket and twine back where I'd found them, and I headed back across the field and through the wooods shaking my head at what I'd just done.

Years later, when I got started "researching" the topic thoroughly, I ran into several descriptions of the effects of hanging. A detail from that day in the barn came back to me when I read about how easy it is to accidentally pass out unexpectedly, and if you see the surroundings start to darken you're just seconds away from passing out. I did have the beginnings of this darkening. As I was beginning to pull myself back up on the bucket, I remember that my vision was beginning to get kind of brown around the edges. I figure I was just a few seconds away from being one of those "accidents" you hear about from time to time. I have to admit, I have had hot fantasies about that experience with just one minor change.

But I didn't want to kill myself, really. I just wanted a little fun.

Check-in

It's been a few months since my last post, so I thought I should post in case anyone is checking in to see if I'm still around. The last few months have seen me working on other, somewhat more sedate things. Lately I've worked on more noose stories. I revised the story "Mark & I" that was posted here a while ago (link is to the original version). I'm trying to figure out the best way to share the new version, whether I should remove the old one or just keep both here. And I wrote a new story based on some artwork posted to the Gaynoose group on google. The new one needs a reading and probably revising; I just finished the draft this week.

The other bit of news I have is that a couple of months ago I tried to post a photo to my Recon account, but they bounced it, presumably because it violated their terms of service. Recon updated their documentation to spell things out more clearly, and they have certain rules because it's located in the U.K. that wouldn't apply in the States. I can accept that... if it weren't for all the other noose photos I see that are a bit further across the line than my rejected one was. I'm not complaining, because I don't want someone there deciding to go after everyone. I'll post the one they rejected here, and the best part is I can explain that I was laying in bed, decidedly not dead, holding the camera in one hand so that the rope could be seen. It wasn't even that tight, really. I mean, I could breathe and everything.

Self-Pic

Unlike some other kink and fetish interests, nooses are hard to self-photograph. This is a photo of me wearing a noose that used to be on my old site. It's a Polaroid and about thirteen years old, which doesn't help (lots of color shifting going on), and it's cropped to hide the fact that the camera was held at arm's length. I still like it, mostly because of the nice thick rope—3/4-inch manila. It's the rope that inspired the "Buying Rope" story, in fact.